83. To Louisa Van Velsor Whitman
Washington | October 6 1863
Dearest mother
Your letter & George's came safe-dear brother George, one dont
more than get a letter from him before you want to hear again, especially
as things are looking pretty stormy down that way-but, mother, I rather
lean to the opinion that the 51st is still in Kentucky at or near where
George last wrote,- but of course that is only my guess-I send George
papers often & occasionally letters-mother, I sent him enclosed your
letter before the last, though you said in it not to tell him how much
money he had home, as you wanted to surprise him, but I sent it-
Mother, I think Rosecrans & Burnside will be too much for the rebels
down there yet-I myself make a great acc't of Burnside being in the
midst of friends, & such friends too-they will fight & fight up to the
handle & kill somebody-(it seems as if it was coming to that pass where
we will either have to destroy or be destroyed) -
Mother, I wish you would write soon after you get this, or Jeff or Mat
must, & tell me about Andrew, if there is any thing different with him-
I think about him every day & night. I believe I must come home even
if it is only for a week-I want to see you all very much-Mother, I
know you must have a good deal to harrass & trouble you, I dont mean
about Andrew personally, for I know you would feel to give your life to
save his, & do any thing to nourish him, but about the children & Nancy-
but, mother, you must not let any thing chafe you, & you must not be
squeamish about saying firmly at times not to have little Georgy too much
to trouble you (poor little fellow, I have no doubt he will be a pleasanter
child when he grows older) & while you are pleasant with Nancy, you
must be sufficiently plain with her-only, mother, I know you will & Jeff &
Mat will too be invariably good to Andrew, & not mind his being irritable
at times, it is his disease, & then his temper is naturally fretful, but it is
such a misfortune to have such sickness, & always do any thing for him
that you can in reason--Mat, my dear sister, I know you will, for I know
your nature is to come out a first class girl in times of trouble & sickness,
& do any thing-
Mother, you dont know how pleased I was to read what you wrote
about little sis, I want to see her so bad I dont know what to do, I know
she must be just the best young one on Long Island-but I hope I will
not be understood as meaning any slight or disrespect to Miss Hat, nor
to put her nose out of joint, because Uncle Walt I hope has heart &
gizzard big enough for both his little neices, & as many more as the
Lord may send-
Mother, I am writing this in Major Hapgood's office as usual-I am
all alone to-day-Major is still absent, unwell, & the clerk is away some-
where-O how pleasant it is here, the weather I mean, & other things too
for that matter-I still occupy my little room 394 L st., get my own
breakfast there, had good tea this morning, & some nice biscuit, (yesterday morning &
day before had peaches cut up)-My friends the
O'Connors that I wrote about recommenced cooking the 1st of this
month, (they have been as usual in summer taking their meals at a
family hotel near by.) Saturday they sent for me to breakfast & Sunday
I eat dinner with them, very good dinner, roast beef, lima beans, good
potatoes&c. They are truly friends to me-I still get my dinner at a restaurant
usually. I have a very good plain dinner, which is the only meal
of any acc't I make during the day, but it is just as well, for I would be
in danger of getting fat on the least encouragement, & I have no ambi-
tion that way.
Mother, it is lucky I like Washington in many respects, & that things
are upon the whole pleasant personally, for every day of my life I see
enough to make one's heart ache with sympathy & anguish here in the
hospitals, & I do not know as I could stand it, if it was not counter-
balanced outside-it is curious-when I am present at the most appaling
things, deaths, operations, sickening wounds (perhaps full of maggots),
I do not fail, although my sympathies are very much excited, but keep
singularly cool-but often, hours afterward, perhaps when I am home, or
out walking alone, I feel sick & actually tremble, when I recal the thing &
have it in my mind again before me-
Mother, did you see my letter in the N Y Times of Sunday Oct 4?
That was the long delayed letter-Mother, I am very sorry Jeff did not
send me the Union with my letter in-I wish very much he would do
so yet, & always when I have a letter in a paper I would like to have one
sent-if you take the Union, send me some once in a while-Mother, was
it Will Brown sent me those? tell him if so I was much obliged, & if he
or Mr & Mrs Brown take any interest in hearing my scribblings, mother,
you let `em rend the letters of course-O I must not close without telling
you the highly important intelligence that I have Cut my hair & beard-
Since the event, Rosecrans, Charleston, &C &C have among my acquaintanceS been hardly
mentioned, being insignificant themes in comparison-
Jeff, my dearest brother, I have been going to write you a good gossipy
letter for two or three weeks past, will try [to] do it yet, so it will reach
you for Sunday reading--so good bye, brother Jeff, & good by for present,
Mother dear, & all, & tell Andrew he must not be discouraged yet-
Walt